CURRENT GROUPS

MEN’S RELATIONSHIP WORK GROUP

Go Beyond the Surface.

You can be good at talking about what’s going on and still keep people at a distance.

You can understand your patterns and still find yourself shutting down during conflict. Avoiding the conversation you know you need to have. Keeping things to yourself. Or relying on your partner to be the only person who really knows you.

Knowing what you do isn’t always the same as knowing how to do something different.

The Men’s Relationship Work Group is an ongoing therapy group for men who want to become more effective in their relationships—with partners, friends, family, and other men.

This isn’t a class about relationships.

It’s a place to actually work on them.

A DIFFERENT KIND OF MEN’S GROUP

We’ll talk about what’s happening in your life, but we won’t stop there.

The relationships that develop within the group give you an opportunity to notice things that can be much harder to see on your own:

→ What happens when you feel misunderstood or criticized
→ When you pull away, shut down, accommodate, or get defensive
→ What you do—and don’t—let other people know about you
→ How comfortable you are asking for what you need
→ What happens when someone challenges you
→ How you give and receive support
→ What makes closeness easier—or harder—for you

Instead of only talking about these patterns after they happen somewhere else, group gives us a chance to work with them while they’re actually happening.

That’s where things can get interesting.

THIS GROUP MAY BE A GOOD FIT IF…

You don’t have to be in crisis.

In fact, this group may be especially useful if your life looks pretty functional from the outside, but you know there are parts of your relationships—or yourself—you’d like to understand better.

You might recognize yourself if:

→ Your partner sometimes wants more emotional connection than you know how to provide
→ You tend to withdraw, shut down, or get defensive when things get tense
→ You understand your patterns intellectually but keep repeating them anyway
→ Your partner is one of the only people you talk to about anything important
→ You have friends, but not many people who really know you
→ You want to communicate more directly and handle conflict better
→ You’ve done individual or couples therapy and want somewhere to keep doing the work
→ You simply want richer relationships and a more intentional life

You don’t need to check every box.

You just need some curiosity about yourself and a willingness to show up.

MAYBE YOU’RE ALREADY IN COUPLES THERAPY

Sometimes a relationship can become the only place a man is doing his emotional work.

That puts a lot of pressure on the relationship—and on your partner.

This group can complement couples therapy by giving you a space of your own to explore your patterns, hear how other men experience you, develop stronger emotional and interpersonal skills, and practice being more direct and open with people.

The goal isn’t to just become better at “talking about feelings.”

It’s to become better at relationships.

WHAT IS A PROCESS GROUP?

There’s no weekly curriculum and you won’t spend 90 minutes listening to me lecture.

A process group uses the conversations and relationships between members as part of the work.

We’ll talk about real things happening in your life. But I’ll also help the group slow down and pay attention to what’s happening between us.

Maybe you realize you’re carefully editing yourself.

Maybe another member irritates you and you normally wouldn’t say anything.

Maybe someone gives you feedback that’s difficult to hear.

Maybe you take a risk and tell the group something you’d ordinarily keep to yourself—and discover that the response is different from what you expected.

Those moments give us something individual therapy can’t completely reproduce: the opportunity to practice relationships by actually being in relationships.

GROUP DETAILS

When: Tuesdays, 6:00–7:30 PM
Where: Hybrid — In Person in Northwest Austin + Zoom
Size: Up to 10 men
Cost: $50/session, private pay
Format: Ongoing group with open enrollment
Commitment: Initial 6-month commitment

Previous individual or couples therapy experience is recommended.

WHO LEADS THE GROUP?

I’m Steve Irsay, LPC, a Licensed Professional Counselor and the founder of Real Men’s Work.

I specialize in working with men on relationships, emotional growth, life transitions, stress, and the challenge of becoming more connected without feeling like you have to become someone you’re not.

My job in this group isn’t to tell you how a man is supposed to think, feel, or relate.

It’s to help create the kind of environment where men can be honest, challenge each other, support each other, notice their patterns, and experiment with something different.

FAQs

Do I have to be having relationship problems?

No. Some men will come because a relationship is struggling. Others may have good relationships and want them to be better. You may also be interested because you want closer friendships, more self-awareness, or a place where you can talk honestly with other men.

Do I have to be married or partnered?

No. “Relationship work” means more than romantic relationships.

The patterns we develop tend to follow us—with partners, friends, family, coworkers, and other men.

Is this a support group?

There will certainly be support, but that isn’t the whole point.

A process group also involves feedback, curiosity, interpersonal risk, and paying attention to what happens between members. Sometimes the most useful moment isn’t someone telling you they understand. It’s someone respectfully telling you how they actually experience you.

Do I need to be in individual therapy?

No. Previous experience with individual or couples therapy is strongly recommended, but you don’t need to be seeing a therapist currently.

What if I’m already in couples therapy?

Great.

This group can provide a separate place to work on your own relational patterns while you continue working on the relationship with your partner and couples therapist.

What if I’m not good at talking in groups?

You don’t need to arrive knowing how to do this.

Being unsure about opening up, taking up space, trusting other men, or knowing what to say can actually become useful material for the group.

You just need to be willing to participate.

Why the six-month commitment?

Relationships take time.

A process group becomes more useful as members get to know and trust one another. The initial commitment gives the group enough stability for relationships to develop and for us to get beyond introductory conversations into more meaningful work.

INTERESTED?

You don’t need to decide whether you want to join based on a webpage.

Schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

We’ll talk briefly about what you’re looking for, I’ll tell you more about how the group works, and we’ll figure out together whether it seems like a good fit.